Why we spend so much time on social media

I used to be an extremely heavy social media user (4+ hours a day). My usage was taking up most of the productive hours I had in the day, I had a long list of goals and no ticks on my to-do list. I decided to quit social media in February 2021* and I think that going through the transition from addict to whatever I am now has made me able to see social media for what it truly is. Please believe me when I say this post is coming from a place of love, I’m not simply trying to attack your lifestyle and your vices.  I’ve been where you’ve been and trust me, it’s better where I am. 

Social media is fundamentally a form of escapism. When we think of escapism we typically think of people with some serious shit going on. You might even be offended that I’ve suggested you are trying to escape your reality, but hear me out. Escapism is quite an emotive word, our brains will typically associate it with someone who is mourning or depressed; that’s because in these circumstances there is a clear cause as to why someone would want to escape their reality. Perhaps you know exactly why you would want to escape your reality, or maybe you are like the majority of people who are practicing escapism through social media every day without realising what they’re escaping from. 

Escapism is the tendency to seek distraction from an unpleasant reality. So what unpleasant reality am I suggesting that millions of people are escaping? Being alone with their thoughts. Being able to fill your busy brain with a newsfeed or a ‘For You Page’ allows people to not have to confront life and their brain’s processing of life. You don’t have to worry about how your boss belittles you or your mum found your wank sock if you can simply distract yourself. You can distract yourself from any form of discomfort, and what is the most common form of discomfort in western populations? Boredom. Being bored is unpleasant, it’s your brain seeking engagement in an environment it doesn’t find engaging. We SHOULD get bored many times throughout the day, this boredom will be unpleasant and as a way to alleviate this discomfort, we will seek engagement. Maybe through reading, maybe through doing some exercise, maybe through completing some chores, you need to do, or maybe through trying to put your dick in a hotdog bun with some mustard and take a picture. Anything  (well nearly anything) beats the unpleasantness of being bored. The state of boredom gives us ideas, it gives us motivation, and it’s the voice in your head that tells you to reach out to that friend you haven’t seen in a while, or to go for a walk by yourself. 

When your brain is constantly engaged, and any unpleasant feelings of boredom can be alleviated immediately, you begin to lose your center. You become a passenger of your own life, you stop thinking for yourself and you miss out on all the beautiful life that happens around you. 

You slowly become less you. 

Now at this point, you might be thinking: “Okay but Joe…” (My name is Joe by the way, nice to meet you) “…Isn’t TV and reading and just about everything else forms of escapism also?”.  And to that, I would say: “yes, 100%, you get a gold star you are my favorite pupil”. But the difference between these forms of escapism and social media is the ease of access. More people smoke cigarettes than cigars, why? Because they are more widely available, cheaper, and more convenient. Social media is much the same, you carry it around in your pocket on your phone, it’s there to suffocate any feelings of boredom you may have with it’s sweet sweet nicotine algorithm. 

I don’t believe social media is inherently bad, I don’t see any problems with using it in moderation. The problem is that many don’t (or can’t) use it in moderation. Social media is designed to be as addictive as possible. The developers of these apps literally design them to be as addictive as possible. You are not to blame if you are addicted to using it. I want to repeat that in case this post has anybody feel shit about themselves as like I said at the start that wasn’t my intention. You are not to blame for being addicted to using social media. 

You are, however, responsible. You are responsible for how you treat yourself, and you are responsible for making sure that your actions best serve your life and your future. Hopefully, I’ve done well in breaking down the problem. The solution will depend on you, maybe you need to withdraw entirely, maybe just limit your use, or maybe you think I’m a dickhead and you’re going to let me know in the comments. Either way, it’s up to you.